What Have I Got That I Can Give?

When I was a kid (not that I've outgrown the child in me!), I used to watch those child fund adverts and think how lucky I was that my life didn't suck as bad as the children of poverty stricken nations. I'm sure you know- or at the very least heard of- huge NGOs like Unicef, World Vision or OXFAM.

The elders around me would remind me of the many blessings and privilages I have as a child and to be grateful that I have a roof over my head, clean water, all the food I want, nice clothes and the presence of a loving family. It was one of those "eat your vegetables! Try living the lives of those in Africa or Bosnia" lectures.

Yes, when I saw those adverts as a kid, I felt gratitude for all that I've been blessed with. Now, as an older person, everytime I see such adverts- the kind that ask you to pick up the phone and sponsor a child, all I feel is pain, anger and utter frustration.

I empathize, or at the very least attempt to understand what the litttle ones are going through. I try to understand the pain that they must be living in every single day untill they reach the end of thier lives, waiting for some kind soul to extend a helping hand.

I feel anger. I'm angry at the irresponsible people who are responsible for bringing more life into this cruel world. Young, innocent lives who deserve better than the crap they are subjected to live because some jerk-off knocked up a poor girl (or maybe not so "poor") in the backseat of his car in a dark alley. Of course that's not the ONLY reason for unwanted pregnancies. I'm angry because men don't always think about possible repercussions of sticking thier dicks where it doesn't belong! Sorry about the harsness; I don't know how to say it courteously. I'm angry because women are oblivion to the fact that it could happen to ANYONE and so they sometimes take stupid risks. Yeah, I know- these "accidents" don't make up the millions of people living in poverty. Poverty has other causes, I KNOW that. Albiet, I can't help but think there is a significant ammount of contribution.

I feel frustration. I'm fed up with the fact that there is nothing I can do to financially help them, because it seems to be what they really need. I know that there are other ways and I'm looking at other avenues in which I can pitch in. But seriously, it's times like these I wish I was a billionaire so I could call up Unicef and say, "Hi, I'd like to make a monthly pledge of *insert how much you think a (generous) millionaire would give*. I'm not trying to be all noble and holier than thou, but i do honestly wish that sometimes.

Pehaps i should take some courses to become a certified social worker...but that would mean having to give up all my big dreams. I'm not ready to give up my nice life but on the other hand, I can't sit still and do nothing. Does it sound like I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too?

I have two hands and a willing heart. Do with it what you will, Father.

More Pictures

No, this was NOT taken at the mall. It was in fact, someone's extravagantly decorated HOUSE. I know I sound like a "jakun" but I've not seen anyone back home go thru such amazing lengths to decorated thier homes for Christmas so this came a bit of a surprise for me. Someone mentioned in passing that it's family tradition passed down from father to son. A-MAY-ZING. isn't it?

Kids playing with "snow". It's actually foam but shhhh....don't tell =) It NEVER snows in Auckland so this is as close as you'll probably ever get.

My first real tree in 19 years! I take absolutely no credit for decorating it though...




Instead of partaking the boxing day madness we decided to opt for solitude at an island 45 minutes away from Auckland. This is Waiheke (pronounced wai-hee-kee) Island.

On the way to Waiheke. View from the ferry.

Sweedish Cum Kiwi Christmas

Christmas came and went like a whift of freshly baked cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Different as it was, it was a nice kind of different. I had a traditional Sweedish christmas (with Stolen* and all) in Kiwi Land. The sheep and cattle were present as well (but of course!). I mean, what's a Kiwi Christmas without those farm companions echoing 'Silent Night' and 'Away in a Manger', ey?

Here; I explain better with pictures:

Peter (the host) carving the leg of ham. It was actually covered with dough before roasting.

And this is where it was roasted. I've not seen this is a really long time.

How'd you think people lighted up thier trees in the olden days? It makes sense, don't it? Peter assured us there was a fire extinguisher in the kitchen =) Here, have a closer look of those candles. Or what's left of it anyway:

To sum, I had a better time than I thought I would. I honestly thought I'd be miserable and missing the presence of friends and family back home, but I actually had a good time. I truly believe that come Christmas season, even the loneliest of the lonely will find warmth in their hearts. After all, I did.


*Stolen is a type of bread usually made during Christmas and I think it's a traditional bread in Switzerland and Germany (and Poland?) and some other places I forgot.

Deck the Halls and Empty Your Pockets

It's that time of year again. The time where shopping malls become temporary mad houses pouring with last-minute shoppers profusely trying to buy everything their hands can possibly carry. It's that time of year where retail outlets slap on big "MEGA SALE" signs at the entrance trying so very hard to get rid of this season's 'in' things so they can make way for a fresh start come autumn. I still remember in Malaysia, now's the time you'll see adverts all over the telly and radio and see big bilboards that say "the whole of Malaysia is on sale"- which I personally thought sounded like the country is being put up for sale! Anyways, so, for these next few days only everything you once bought at 400 bucks are knocked off by up to 80% and you curse yourself for not waiting. Then you have those compulsive shoppers who have the inordinate urge to buy everything under the sun just because it's on sale. Nevermind not needing half the things they buy. These, I believe, is what we call...shopperholics? It's estimated that in New Zealand, over 3million EFTPOS* transactions will be made over the weekend, with 100 transactions per second.

But on the other hand, you have those people who were so busy working, be it balancing financial accounts or finnishing paperwork, that they comppletely forgot about buying presents and hence only have 48 hours till that all-important christmas family dinner to check off everything on thier list of "presents to buy". Also, not forgetting the procrastinators like me for instance (and probably more than 85% of the world over!) who wait to shop at the very last minute just for the heck of it. It's all part of the Christmas spirit and charm, I say.

In many ways, the holidays is a pretty big deal to a lot of people. Some use this time to catch up with loved ones they've not seen in ages; others use it as a time of reflection; some use it as an excuse to get away with recking trouble saying, "hey, lighten up. It's Christmas- people are supposed to be nice to each other!" Still others are just in dire need f this break because they've been slogging all year long to bring home the bacon. All the same, it's a season of sharing, good food, merry making and I reckon it's the only time of year where you can hug anyone you want without having to feel awkward.

So, what does this Christmas mean to me? Well, for one thing it is certainly going to be a quiet and different one. Actually, different is an understatement. I'm in a foreign land with only three other people to call family and I'm missing my girlfriends dearly. The weather is unbelievably miserable and almost everyone I know are away. But I suppose it's times like these you try finding comfort in the presence of aquaintances and make the best of the people and things around you, ey? The way I see it, I've two choices: I could spend Christmas alone feeling sad and bummed that my pals and family (other than daddy, mom and sis) are a million miles away; or I could embrace Christmas all the same and find cheerfulness in the people I barely know. Perhaps this is the time to know them a little better.

I think I shall opt for the latter.

So, what does this Christmas mean to me? It means finding joy and gratitude in the changes God dealt me. Being able to trust Him and thrust myself and as I relish this holidays, I realize one thing:

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same.
Though I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray.
And I want you more than I wanna live another day.
As I wait for you, maybe I'll be more faithfull.

*EFTPOS is like a debit card over here. It certainly makes my life a heck of a lot easier, not having to carry cash. Yet, I still don't understand why people want credit cards here.

Bleah!

So, this is what it feels like to have gone all the way for a seemingly good interview only to get a call two days later and be told they've found a "more suitable applicant". Now I know. It feels horribly crappy. Not to mention rejected. I somehow think it's much easier getting a job in Malaysia. Now I wish I was some overseas correspondant for Xfresh. At least I still had a job and had a blast doing it.

On the bright side, I did get a free flat white during the interview- yeah I was interviewing for a job at a cafe. Wait, what the heck am I saying? I'm not even suppose to LIKE coffee! There is NO bright side. There is only the bitter after taste.

Now what? I've already sent in 15 other applications. One actually sent a rejection letter saying that "due to too many applications, they were not able to interview" me which in other words just means they couldn't be bothered to give me the time of day. Went for one interview which turned out to be a snag. So, what now?

Oh, get over yourself girl! It was only your FIRST job interview. Plenty more out there. Keep looking. Don't give up just yet. Getting rejected is all part of living, aint it? If nothing else, there's always uni to look forward to...

Album Review

I bought a CD today. It was Brooke Fraser's "ALBERTINE". If her name doesn't ring a bell, fret not. I barely knew she existed untill I came to New Zealand. And I reckon the reason for that is because she's not from America, which sucks. The fact that I hadn't heard of her before, I mean- not because she's not American. She's actually a New Zealander (which probably explains why she's more famous here and in Australia).

I thought I'd give my two cents about what I think of her songs and hopefully "persuade" you to go out and get the album =)

Have you ever heard or saw or read something that made you wanna go out and change the world? These feelings don't come easy for me, seeing how I'm a self declared big skeptic. And let me tell you, "ALBERTINE" is one of the very few powerful albums I've come across. Of all the albums I've reviewed during my internship at Xfresh, I can honestly say this is the ONLY album that gripped me from beginning till end. I even purposely went for a super long drive just so I could hear the whole album in the car!

To me, what makes a good album is not so much the flash music. It's more of how the lyrics gel with the music. Music that compliments its lyrics. For example, if the lyrics go something along the lines of "devotion, peace, comfort and so forth" you wouldn't expect to sing it to the tune of that of heavy metal. Or would you? I know for a fact that the words of such a song would carry more meaning if sung at a less heavy sound. "ALBERTINE" is an album well done from that aspect. Fraser's got a knack for pairing rhythm and lyrics and give her songs depth and meaning.

Speaking of which, the lyrics are far too simple. Which is a good thing. Shows absolute honesty and let you know that you don't need to know flash words to write songs.

In short, I'd say that this is probably one of the most honest compilation of songs you'll hear in this age. One a personal note, I'm amazed at her on-going love affair with Rwanda.

Quote

Best thing I've read today:

"...God wasn't expecting me to live by a whole bunch of rules or get to a certain place of acceptance before I could be a Christian. The whole point was that there was nothing I could do - it had already been done for me and that freedom could be mine if I just believed it. That's what being a Christian is all about and not many people know that."

-Brooke Fraser

Lima Beans

I was never one to appreciate art in its literal form. I believe it's commonly refered to fine arts. For illustrative purposes, lets just say that I would make an absolute dimwit of myself if I were to become the director of an art centre/gallery. On the other hand, I don't altogether not have an interest for the arts. Heck, if you knew me well enough, you'd instantly be able to point out that I've nothing, if not total love for the arts. If anything, when God created me, He spent more time developing the artistic part of me rather than the scientific half. That's just the way I'm wired. Although, I must admit that in high school I didn't like that part about me because it made unappealing dents in my report card.

But it's all good now. I've learnt to accept and love that part of me now and wouldn't so much as step foot into a science lab (not if I can help it).

ANYWAY, so there was this art exhibition this week. I thought I'd check it out. Like lima beans- you've got to try it once in a while to see if your taste has changed. And I'm pleased to say that yes, my taste HAS changed. As I stepped into the rotary club (because that was the 'gallery') I found myself entranced by this one particular piece. I mean, I went around in circles only to come back to the very same spot and pour myself into that one piece. At that moment there was only one thing running through my mind: Gosh, I wish I had a check book and a bank account with at least $450! I wonder if the artist noticed that I couldn't take my eyes off her work.

I don't know what made me become so captivated. It's one of those inexplicable feelings; totally and stunningly enigmatic. I obviously can't show you the painting but I'm sure you're able to realte to the feeling. It's just amazing how some thing so simple can evoke so much within a person! Just so. A-MAY-ZING! I still can't get the painting out of my head and it's been more than 12 hours!

I once watched a scene on television where this character was so baffled by a painting she saw that all she could do was stand frozen in one position as tears began to weld up her big brown eyes. Simply because it was the most amazing thing she'd ever seen. But then again, she was director of a prominent art gallery so I suppose her character called for a better understanding for the fine arts. Also, I think the fact that she (the actor) had eyes that spoke a million words added to her advantage. I however, didn't get what was so astounding about the painting and I remember saying out loud, "hey, that's just a couple of squigles and lines and dots. Even I can do that!"

But I think I finally understand what the character and the scene and the paiting was trying to convey to its viewers. And oh, what a feeling!

Man, I'm so glad I'm more artsy than science-y. After all, life in itself is an art, no? I'm in no way trying to diss those who're wired to be science-y and mathamatically intelligent. I just wish, some of my high school teachers understood that one is not better than the other and groom thier students according to the way they're wired. That's another story altogether, though. For another time.