10 things I've Come to Love

1. The colors red and purple
2. The smell of clean laundry- fresh out of the dryer
3. Having pasta and beers with my girlfriends (gosh, I wish we could do this more often)
4. The smell of freshly cut grass
5. Peanut butter and banana sandwich
6. The TV show 'Lost'
7. Skirts and black T-shirts
8. The smell of hot pancakes in the morning
9. Bunderberg ginger beer (I hated ginger beer of any kind- with an absolute passion)
10. The fact that I'm not playing the game of life alone (the ambiguity is intended, sorry)

I am beginning to see that happiness is not just about getting the best things in life that money can buy; it's being able to have time for the simple pleasures in life and having amazing all-the-money-in-the-world-can't-buy intercontinental friendships.

Defining My 20s With a Song

I am unwritten, can't read my mind, I'm undefined

I'm just beginning, the pen's in my hand, ending unplanned

Staring at the blank page before you

Open up the dirty window

Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find

Reaching for something in the distance

So close you can almost taste it

Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin

No one else can feel it for you

Only you can let it in

No one else, no one else

Can speak the words on your lips

Drench yourself in words unspoken

Live your life with arms wide open

Today is where your book begins

The rest is still unwritten

I break tradition, sometimes my tries, are outside the lines

We've been conditioned to not make mistakes, but I can't live that way

Staring at the blank page before you
Open up the dirty window
Let the sun illuminate the words that you could not find
Reaching for something in the distance
So close you can almost taste it
Release your inhibitions

Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open
Today is where your book begins
The rest is still unwritten

Unwritten by Natasha Bedingfield

I Can't Believe I Was Awake Watching This

So, I was awake, along with perhaps 70% of the Hollywood population and 7% of its journalists, to see who got nominated for what category of this year's Oscars, though they were probably not as relaxed as me. They were probably glued to their idiot boxes (they very medium in which thousands of others get glued to their idiot boxes watching them) anxiously waiting to see if their names were up for nominations and who they were competing against.

No, I didn't set my alarm for this. I couldn't sleep is all. Frankly, I couldn't care much about the announcement ceremony or whatever it is they call it. If anything, I'd just watch the delayed (not even live) telecast of the actual night. I personally would much rather watch the Grammys for the simple fact that it's heck of a lot more entertaining but I'm in no way belittling Hollywood award shows. It's just a personal preference.

So, at 2.30 in the morning, and here I am watching Salma Hayek punching in the air going, “YES!” at the announcement of Penelope Cruise being nominated for best actress for her role in Volver.

What do I have to say about the nominations in general? Well, I'm glad Meryl Streep was up for her superb performance in The Devil Wears Prada, though I think the movie as a whole was nothing much to shout about. She however, was a-may-zing- the only reason that made my 8 bucks worth while. Also, I reckon it's about time they included Kate Winslet in for an award. I've always thought she did good work. It's hard to say if she'll bag it seeing as how she's competing with really great actors, but then again, who's to say, ey?

The fact that Helen Miren, Jennifer Hudson, Kate Blanchet, Kate Winslet, Will Smith and Leonardo DeCaprio are all in the list means I should go watch these movies. Only then will I dare to say anything else. I should probably see for myself what the hype is all about.
I thought blogging about this might get me sleepy but no! I'm still WIDE AWAKE!!! Gosh, now what am I gonna do? I need to sleep! Should I take a pill or something? I mean, I don't know WHY I'm still awake...

Little Boxes made of Ticky-Tacky

This song has been on my "most played" list recently: Little Boxes by Malvina Reynolds. It's a really old song though I only heard it probably about three days ago. It's basically a mockery, if I may, about the perfection and idealism of Suburbia and I just find it absolutely hilarious! Do have a listen when you have the chance. Meanwhile, here's now it goes:

Little boxes on the hillside,

Little boxes made of ticky-tacky,

Little boxes, little boxes,Little boxes, all the same.

There's a green one and a pink one

And a blue one and a yellow one

And they're all made out of ticky-tacky

And they all look just the same.

And the people in the houses

All go to the university,

And they all get put in boxes,

Little boxes, all the same.

And there's doctors and there's lawyers

And business executives,

And they're all made out of ticky-tacky

And they all look just the same.

And they all play on the golf-course,

And drink their Martini dry,

And they all have pretty children,

And the children go to school.

And the children go to summer camp

And then to the university,

And they all get put in boxes

And they all come out the same.

And the boys go into business,

And marry, and raise a family

And they all get put in boxes,

Little boxes, all the same.

There's a green one and a pink one

And a blue one and a yellow one

And they're all made out of ticky-tacky

And they all look just the same

Oh, and ticky-tacky just means flimsy, breakable things...or something to that effect.

I AM NOT READY...

...to be 20 yet!

God, I know you won't turn back time, but could you at least slow down what's left of it? Yes, I'm terrified of growing up, but you already knew that, didn't you?

Living in the Moment

You know how some people like writing one of those year-end entries, looking back at the year in retrospect, that sorta thing? Well, honestly, I'm one of those people. Although I've only been blogging for about two odd years now, I've always done the this-year-in-retrospect thing; personal diary, taking a moment or two to just ponder on the events of the year in a corner silently, or otherwise. But this year, I thought I'd forgo it. Besides, I was at a party (at which I ONLY stayed because it was partly mom's birthday) and the moment kinda just passed me by...

Now, I feel so "unsettled" because of it. I didn't take no moment to look back and think and give thanks for that has been given unto me. I didn't do it and now I feel a wee bit weird.

Why? Does that make me someone who can't go a day breaking routines? I wonder if I've become one of those I-have-to-do-this-or-else-I-won't-sleep-a-wink kinda person. There ARE people like that, aren't there? It's not always good to be one of those people, right? It means I won't live i the moment and take things as it comes. I always have to know what happens next, I always have to do all the things on my to-do list and I always need to know everything around me (not in a nosy kinda way).

But on the other hand, I procrastinate like I still have 100 years to live, I don't bother to clean up my room unless I can no longer tell the difference from the floor and my clothes, and I can be quite a sloth at times. And I've stopped making resolutions since I was 17 because I know breaking it is inevitable.

But on yet another hand (not my own of course, as I only got two of 'em), I want to live in the moment. I think I'm finally beginning to understand the importance of taking life as it comes and letting things be. I don't want to make too many plans, for fear of things not going the way I had planned.

So, is this living-in-the-moment thing going to be a possibility for me?

I don't know.

But I'm sure as hell gonna try.

Bising-ing

It never cease to amaze me how certain parties are always blowing willy-nelly things up in epic proportion, making a great deal out of nothing. I was blog surfing again today when I came across Patrick Teoh's Tokok. I read there that Malaysia has just launched some mega huge ferris wheel that's supposed to give you a view of Kuala Lumpur once you're at the top. Then, thanks to the power of hypertext, I landed myself on MyCen News and there it was among the major headlines: "Michelle Yeoh photograph causes media stir in Malaysia"

Apparently, dear Pak Lah was photographed having his hand on the former bond girl's bare shoulder at a dinner ceremony recently. A certain opposition Islamic political party wasn't too happy about it of course. PM? Religeous person? Eh, tak boleh! Dosa besar, ni! And so they went on to seize coppies of the tabloid newspaper containing that sinful picture- on the front cover, no less!

I mean, seriously, get a life, loosers! As if we don't have more pressing issues to deal with! So what if he had his hand on her shoulder? He's not going to die and go to hell for that, you know?! You want to write about pressing matters? War; is a problem. Poverty; is a problem. Serial killers on the loose; is a problem. Corruption; is a problem. Man's hand on woman's shoulder? Yeah, it's a catastrophe! *smiriks*

This is the problem with Malaysian media: lack of priority. A few months ago, singer Siti Nurhaliza announced matrimony and at the same time, Indonesia was hit by a second tsunami. I'll give you 5 bucks if you can guess which one made the front cover. Well, it certainly WASN'T the latter! What IS WRONG with our people? (Yeah, I'm still Malaysian).

You might say that it's not my place to say stuff about Malaysia because I left that place in search of a better future. But I'll always have a Malaysian part of me and since I am still a Malysian citizen, I think I have every right to buat bising and say what I think.

So again, with millions of other REAL problems going on, who'd actually give a toss about little things? So, she got married. Plenty of people do it all the time- several times in fact for some.

I find this whole thing inherrently laughable, as May Yin would put it. Quite ammusing indeed. But the fact that I'm actually blogging about this means I really DO need to get a job!

Happy Birthday, Sweetie!

Mickey dearest,

Seeing as how you're the first in the bunch to reach semi-adulthood, I thought I'd let the whole world know! Haha!

Happy 20th (hence the semi-adulthood) Birthday, honey and hope you have a great one. I hope this year offers you everything you want and though the road ahead may sometimes be a lil blurry/foggy- hey, it's bound to happen!- I know you'll find a way out- you always do. May God keep you safe as you step into unfamiliar territory and reach for new heights.

I love you!

P.s: I know it's not the most flattering picture, but it was the best I had =)

Look What the Postman Delivered!

I went furniture shopping with Daddy this morning, only to return home with this waiting for me to sink my teeth into:

The furniture man made my day by telling me EXACTLY what I wanted to hear: "We custom make everything to suite your taste. All we need is a description" (and for a very afforable price too!). Ah, music to my ears and heart.

But, my dearest periamma (anutie in Tamil) made my two most favorite cookies on earth- pineapple tarts and muruku! And she sent it all the way from Malaysia. This, is definitely the icing on a very rich two tired cake! Bless her kind heart! She makes the best, and I mean THE BEST pineapple tarts in the whole wide world! I was like a 5-year old let loose in a candy store as soon as I opened the package.

Thanks, DHL for making this delivery but most importantly, Thank you periamma for making those cookies! THANK YOU!!! Hopefully, when you make the next batch, I'm there to taste it fresh off the oven =)

Things I Saw Today...

...on my drive along the coast:

The black dot in the middle is actually a bloke. He's supposed to be wind-surfing, but I couldn't get a close enough picture.

No, they're NOT birdie poop. They're oysters stuck on those rocks.

The Pine Harbour Marina. I swear, next to cars, this is probably the most owned vehicle in New Zealand! Made me think, if I don't own a house (on land) before I'm 30, I shall invest on a real flash boat- the kind I can live in...

What Have I Got That I Can Give?

When I was a kid (not that I've outgrown the child in me!), I used to watch those child fund adverts and think how lucky I was that my life didn't suck as bad as the children of poverty stricken nations. I'm sure you know- or at the very least heard of- huge NGOs like Unicef, World Vision or OXFAM.

The elders around me would remind me of the many blessings and privilages I have as a child and to be grateful that I have a roof over my head, clean water, all the food I want, nice clothes and the presence of a loving family. It was one of those "eat your vegetables! Try living the lives of those in Africa or Bosnia" lectures.

Yes, when I saw those adverts as a kid, I felt gratitude for all that I've been blessed with. Now, as an older person, everytime I see such adverts- the kind that ask you to pick up the phone and sponsor a child, all I feel is pain, anger and utter frustration.

I empathize, or at the very least attempt to understand what the litttle ones are going through. I try to understand the pain that they must be living in every single day untill they reach the end of thier lives, waiting for some kind soul to extend a helping hand.

I feel anger. I'm angry at the irresponsible people who are responsible for bringing more life into this cruel world. Young, innocent lives who deserve better than the crap they are subjected to live because some jerk-off knocked up a poor girl (or maybe not so "poor") in the backseat of his car in a dark alley. Of course that's not the ONLY reason for unwanted pregnancies. I'm angry because men don't always think about possible repercussions of sticking thier dicks where it doesn't belong! Sorry about the harsness; I don't know how to say it courteously. I'm angry because women are oblivion to the fact that it could happen to ANYONE and so they sometimes take stupid risks. Yeah, I know- these "accidents" don't make up the millions of people living in poverty. Poverty has other causes, I KNOW that. Albiet, I can't help but think there is a significant ammount of contribution.

I feel frustration. I'm fed up with the fact that there is nothing I can do to financially help them, because it seems to be what they really need. I know that there are other ways and I'm looking at other avenues in which I can pitch in. But seriously, it's times like these I wish I was a billionaire so I could call up Unicef and say, "Hi, I'd like to make a monthly pledge of *insert how much you think a (generous) millionaire would give*. I'm not trying to be all noble and holier than thou, but i do honestly wish that sometimes.

Pehaps i should take some courses to become a certified social worker...but that would mean having to give up all my big dreams. I'm not ready to give up my nice life but on the other hand, I can't sit still and do nothing. Does it sound like I'm trying to have my cake and eat it too?

I have two hands and a willing heart. Do with it what you will, Father.

More Pictures

No, this was NOT taken at the mall. It was in fact, someone's extravagantly decorated HOUSE. I know I sound like a "jakun" but I've not seen anyone back home go thru such amazing lengths to decorated thier homes for Christmas so this came a bit of a surprise for me. Someone mentioned in passing that it's family tradition passed down from father to son. A-MAY-ZING. isn't it?

Kids playing with "snow". It's actually foam but shhhh....don't tell =) It NEVER snows in Auckland so this is as close as you'll probably ever get.

My first real tree in 19 years! I take absolutely no credit for decorating it though...




Instead of partaking the boxing day madness we decided to opt for solitude at an island 45 minutes away from Auckland. This is Waiheke (pronounced wai-hee-kee) Island.

On the way to Waiheke. View from the ferry.

Sweedish Cum Kiwi Christmas

Christmas came and went like a whift of freshly baked cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Different as it was, it was a nice kind of different. I had a traditional Sweedish christmas (with Stolen* and all) in Kiwi Land. The sheep and cattle were present as well (but of course!). I mean, what's a Kiwi Christmas without those farm companions echoing 'Silent Night' and 'Away in a Manger', ey?

Here; I explain better with pictures:

Peter (the host) carving the leg of ham. It was actually covered with dough before roasting.

And this is where it was roasted. I've not seen this is a really long time.

How'd you think people lighted up thier trees in the olden days? It makes sense, don't it? Peter assured us there was a fire extinguisher in the kitchen =) Here, have a closer look of those candles. Or what's left of it anyway:

To sum, I had a better time than I thought I would. I honestly thought I'd be miserable and missing the presence of friends and family back home, but I actually had a good time. I truly believe that come Christmas season, even the loneliest of the lonely will find warmth in their hearts. After all, I did.


*Stolen is a type of bread usually made during Christmas and I think it's a traditional bread in Switzerland and Germany (and Poland?) and some other places I forgot.

Deck the Halls and Empty Your Pockets

It's that time of year again. The time where shopping malls become temporary mad houses pouring with last-minute shoppers profusely trying to buy everything their hands can possibly carry. It's that time of year where retail outlets slap on big "MEGA SALE" signs at the entrance trying so very hard to get rid of this season's 'in' things so they can make way for a fresh start come autumn. I still remember in Malaysia, now's the time you'll see adverts all over the telly and radio and see big bilboards that say "the whole of Malaysia is on sale"- which I personally thought sounded like the country is being put up for sale! Anyways, so, for these next few days only everything you once bought at 400 bucks are knocked off by up to 80% and you curse yourself for not waiting. Then you have those compulsive shoppers who have the inordinate urge to buy everything under the sun just because it's on sale. Nevermind not needing half the things they buy. These, I believe, is what we call...shopperholics? It's estimated that in New Zealand, over 3million EFTPOS* transactions will be made over the weekend, with 100 transactions per second.

But on the other hand, you have those people who were so busy working, be it balancing financial accounts or finnishing paperwork, that they comppletely forgot about buying presents and hence only have 48 hours till that all-important christmas family dinner to check off everything on thier list of "presents to buy". Also, not forgetting the procrastinators like me for instance (and probably more than 85% of the world over!) who wait to shop at the very last minute just for the heck of it. It's all part of the Christmas spirit and charm, I say.

In many ways, the holidays is a pretty big deal to a lot of people. Some use this time to catch up with loved ones they've not seen in ages; others use it as a time of reflection; some use it as an excuse to get away with recking trouble saying, "hey, lighten up. It's Christmas- people are supposed to be nice to each other!" Still others are just in dire need f this break because they've been slogging all year long to bring home the bacon. All the same, it's a season of sharing, good food, merry making and I reckon it's the only time of year where you can hug anyone you want without having to feel awkward.

So, what does this Christmas mean to me? Well, for one thing it is certainly going to be a quiet and different one. Actually, different is an understatement. I'm in a foreign land with only three other people to call family and I'm missing my girlfriends dearly. The weather is unbelievably miserable and almost everyone I know are away. But I suppose it's times like these you try finding comfort in the presence of aquaintances and make the best of the people and things around you, ey? The way I see it, I've two choices: I could spend Christmas alone feeling sad and bummed that my pals and family (other than daddy, mom and sis) are a million miles away; or I could embrace Christmas all the same and find cheerfulness in the people I barely know. Perhaps this is the time to know them a little better.

I think I shall opt for the latter.

So, what does this Christmas mean to me? It means finding joy and gratitude in the changes God dealt me. Being able to trust Him and thrust myself and as I relish this holidays, I realize one thing:

When I can't feel you, I have learned to reach out just the same.
Though I can't hear you, I know you still hear every word I pray.
And I want you more than I wanna live another day.
As I wait for you, maybe I'll be more faithfull.

*EFTPOS is like a debit card over here. It certainly makes my life a heck of a lot easier, not having to carry cash. Yet, I still don't understand why people want credit cards here.