Living in the Moment

You know how some people like writing one of those year-end entries, looking back at the year in retrospect, that sorta thing? Well, honestly, I'm one of those people. Although I've only been blogging for about two odd years now, I've always done the this-year-in-retrospect thing; personal diary, taking a moment or two to just ponder on the events of the year in a corner silently, or otherwise. But this year, I thought I'd forgo it. Besides, I was at a party (at which I ONLY stayed because it was partly mom's birthday) and the moment kinda just passed me by...

Now, I feel so "unsettled" because of it. I didn't take no moment to look back and think and give thanks for that has been given unto me. I didn't do it and now I feel a wee bit weird.

Why? Does that make me someone who can't go a day breaking routines? I wonder if I've become one of those I-have-to-do-this-or-else-I-won't-sleep-a-wink kinda person. There ARE people like that, aren't there? It's not always good to be one of those people, right? It means I won't live i the moment and take things as it comes. I always have to know what happens next, I always have to do all the things on my to-do list and I always need to know everything around me (not in a nosy kinda way).

But on the other hand, I procrastinate like I still have 100 years to live, I don't bother to clean up my room unless I can no longer tell the difference from the floor and my clothes, and I can be quite a sloth at times. And I've stopped making resolutions since I was 17 because I know breaking it is inevitable.

But on yet another hand (not my own of course, as I only got two of 'em), I want to live in the moment. I think I'm finally beginning to understand the importance of taking life as it comes and letting things be. I don't want to make too many plans, for fear of things not going the way I had planned.

So, is this living-in-the-moment thing going to be a possibility for me?

I don't know.

But I'm sure as hell gonna try.