Home and Away

I moved out of my father's house and into my own appartment yesterday. In the words of a friend, this is "one big step for Naveena, one giant leap for Indian-kind", you know, because I moved out before getting married. For those of you who find this difficult to understand, let me put it this way; It's unusual t move out of your parents' house before you get married in the Indian culture and unless they disown you, there really is no need (or to some no WAY) to live n your own.

That said, I myself had to face the huge hurdle of convincing them that it would be better off letting me go (there was plenty of crying on my part and initial disapproving looks on their part). I must have done a decent job at it because, here I am in my stark cold appartment room. It was suppsed to be one of the happiest day of my life but instead, I felt like everyone else's misery was gathered up and dropped on me like a ton of bricks. Not so good an analogy but whatever. I mean, independance is supposed to be a good thing. Someone else also told me if I could help get her 25 year-old son out of her house! She reckons it's a good thing. And she is right. I know she is. But I'm not so sure I made the right choice.

Don't get me wrong, I'm loving the fact that I now don't have to drag myself out of bed at 5.30am for an 8am class. The library is just minutes away. All I have to do is step out of the appartment and the whole city is mine for the taking. I can do anything at virtually any time I please. But as I layed on my big white bed, starring at at my lava lamp trying to fall asleep, I couldn't help but feel a little bit like crap. It doesn't help that I'm not too happy about my appartment either. It felt more like a cold hotel room rather than an actual homey (if that's even a word!) personal space. Perhaps I should look for another place, but then again it's only been a couple of days.

Only time will tell. For now though, Micheal Buble's "Home" echoes in my mind, every word of it. Let me go home. I've got to come home.