And so it ends...for now

I've just handed in my final big project for the semester; all I have left is a final exam and a script and proposal due in time for next semester's work. I shoul feel estatic/relieved/happy/sleepy...something. I should feel SOMETHING but I can't feel anything. I reckon I'm just oo numb from all that has happened to me and around me in the last month or so. the whole thing just seems a bit too surreal at the moment and I know I'm gonna feel empty when I wake up Monday morning and go, "right, so what do I do now?". I just KNOW it! I can't remember what it's like to feel free and light-hearted...yeah, it's been a while.

I can't believe a month has gone by since I did my all my filming for the semester. I can't remember the last time I cooked a decent meal for myself. I find it hard to believe it's been nearly a month since we stopped talking. I'm not sure when I last saw or spoke to some of my best mates; I think they've disowned me due to the lack of communication on my part. I think it was really nice of him to say a l'il prayer for me. I honestly could not have gone through the month and still be sane/incredibly sober if it weren't for HIM. HIS grace has been all I've had to get by. I can't tell when my day starts or ends anymore. I am in absolute awe of how I've been taken care of by so many people over these weeks- being driven around to my shoots, being fed all the time; making sure I've enough food. My laundry has pilled up all the way up tp the ceiling (ok, so maybe there's a tad bit exaggeration there). I can barely see the floor in my room and I'm not sure where my Media Comm notes are- I need them for my upcoming finals.

But despite that, I must say that I've had some of the best and worst moments of my life. I'm just halfway into the year and I've had quite a few life-defining moments already. People keep telling me that I'm growing up and that they see a change in the way I handle situations that come my way. I can't imagine myself doing anything else and my classmates are really some of the most amazingly talented people around- my new found whanau (that's family in Maori). I love what I do! I really do. I actually do mean that. For real. Seriously.

I've a few people to say thanks to; Cheryl, thanks for just being yourself and taking care of me when I needed to nurse my wounds. Gillian, thanks for shouting me those dinners and reminding that I trully am alive in HIM and HIS love is unconditional and unfailing. Lee, thanks for encouraging me to press on with prayer and faith. Irvin, thanks for making me see sense in focusing on HIM. C.Z, that little prayer was so profound, I nearly cried; Thanks for the reminder in Corrinthians. Raluca, thanks for bearing with me and doing my camera work; you were nothing short of bloody amazing! Not sure how I'd have been able to cut Project Twin Streams together, given my very unspesific directional 'skills'...and thanks for taking me places. My unusually very quiet flatmate whom I've rarely seen in the last month, thanks for picking up my slack and tidying up our home; it looks like a real home now.

I really should get to bed and get some sleep now but I'm so wide awake...